


I am Who I am

by httpJames



Series: I am who I am [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Canon Trans Character, Cheating, College, F/F, F/M, Gay, Gen, LGBT, LGBT+, LGBTQ, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Multi, Other, Trans, Trans Male Character, Transgender, Writing, binder, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-19 15:54:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13707720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httpJames/pseuds/httpJames
Summary: A trans teen, going by the name Charles goes through the hardships of being exiled from his family and having to keep it from his friends and possible lover(s). Being from a strictly Christian family and having your parents divorced is hard enough, but because gay and trans is even harder when your "how God wants you."





	1. (1)

They stared at the ceiling, it felt like if they laid there long enough they’d watch the paint begin to peel off the fading dorm room walls. The tight fabric that was holding their chest in from who they used to be where was nearly suffocating them as they breathed in and out. The constant sound of laughter and partying outside their dorm was drowned out by the sound of their phone ringing. They sat up as the phone began to ring, the telltale ringtone that could only be one person, with a groan They glanced over at the glowing phone screen. The white contact name read “Step Dad”. Pushing they're dark brown hair back from their face with a sigh they waited for it to go to voicemail. Soon enough there was a message left on the phone, they picked up the phone and tapped the notification.

The voicemail played, a man's voice rung out in the silence of the room. “Hey Arabelle” The man's voice spoke out “I just wanted to call to see how college was going, I know it’s been awhile since we last talked, and-” They stopped the message before it could finish and put their phone down on the blankets piled up next to them.

They hated the name Arabelle, they hated being called that, they hated being called “She” or “Her”. Being called that made their already constrained chest ache. They once asked they're family not to call them by their birth name, or by She or Her. Their family simply responded with “Why” or “No” and continued to call them Arabelle.  
They wanted actually, they asked actually to be called Charles or Charlie for short. They wanted to be referred to as he/him, but apparently, that was far too much to ask for from his family.

Charles grew up in a strictly Christian household, went to church every Sunday, got baptized as a baby, so on and so forth. When they were little they wore dresses and bows and had pigtails, simply because they didn't have a choice.  
After he has come out to his family, his mother had gone off saying “If you were a boy, you’d be born a boy, your how God wants you, nobody can change that.”

After that, Charles has practically stopped talking to his parents unless he had to. Not long after that, his parents had gotten divorced, he was fourteen at the time. When he has turned sixteen his mom had remarried a man whom Charles would learn to hate with every mineral of his being. When he has been introduced to this man he had thought they’d be able to get along, but oh was Charles wrong. This man was beyond an asshole, He had hit Charles multiple times without warning, he had yelled, he had yelled oh so much. When Charles Mother, Rose, was around he tried to play it off as he was some sort of perfect husband that everyone wanted.

But really, he wasn’t that, he was nowhere close to the “Perfect Husband”, he was more or less a mooch and a freeloader. He went to work and sure he had a good paying job, but he spent that money on booze and countless other things-- God they hated them.


	2. (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are introduced and have an explanation on Charles' roommate Silvia Greenwich, Also with dialogue between characters.

Charles laid back on the bed, god he hated his father or if he could even call him his father. Out of pure spite he picked up his phone, went to his contacts and blocked the number. Knowing that his Step Dad would probably try and call from his (Charles’) mother’s phone he blocked hers too.   
After that he step his phone down and glanced across the messy room to the small clock that sat on the counter, it read ‘2:56pm’. With a sigh the brown haired boy sat up and hopped off the bed and walked to the small dresser. His roommate would be home any moment now, and she didn’t know anything about Charles. With a mixture of a sigh and a grown Charles peeled off the tight binder and replaced it with a bra which they don’t remember when they bought, it was lazy and brown with small white polka dots- it was probably from an ex-boyfriend. After that he slipped on a overly tight and long tank top that hugged they're waist and curves.   
He took his hair down, that was nearly past his shoulder by down and just stared at himself in the mirror. 

He looked at himself, they hated how they looked, they had curves- they hated those curves, they hated they're body, and they hated having to look different for people. Charles couldn’t even recount the amount of times they laid in they're bed at night and silently cried over how much they had hated they're body, they couldn’t even recount the times they went shopped for clothes for a family vacation when they were younger and cried in the dressing room when they saw themselves in a swimsuit, let alone a bikini.  
Now he no longer looked like Charles, He looked like Arabelle and oh god did he hate that. 

The dorm’s front door creaked signaling his roommate was home. Pushing the binder under the dresser with his foot he turned to meet eyes with his roomate, Silvia.   
Silvia was a year younger than Charles, but she was taller. She had blonde hair with dyed green tips that Charles had helped with earlier that month, and piercing green eyes he believed were contacts but they weren’t. She was very sweet and endearing though, Charles considered her a friend- one of his few friends.   
` She didn’t talk much, but when she did she’d ramble for hours and hours and didn’t shut up- or even breathe for a matter of fact. She had a southern accent to her voice that was slowly going away, she was from Virginia. 

As perusal, Silvia was happy, “Hi Arabelle!” she said in a singsong voice as she set her multiple schoolbags by the door. Charles looked up at her and mumbled a quiet, “Hello.”, Pretending to do his hair as he did so.   
Silvia has come bounding over to him like a dog who hadn’t seen they're owner in weeks, “What’s wrong darlin’?” She asked, tilting her head to the side; There was that sweet Southern drawl of hers coming out. Charles gave up on his hair and put it back in a bun, “Nothing, I’ve had a headache all day.” A lie- an obvious lie to him, He responded. “And I couldn't get any sleep last night.” He said, yawning- That part was partially true due to all the partying outside their dorm. 

Silvia perked up again, almost instantly. She was always the person who would nurse you back to health when you were sick- She also made some bomb chicken noodle soup. “Do you want some soup?” She asks, “I can heat it up from yesterday.” She said, but before Charles could respond she was already on her way to the small kitchen they had. With a sigh, Charles followed avoiding his protests.


End file.
